Fun Weekend with the Family

Let me start by saying that I love the fact that I don't live in the same city as my family. Don't get me wrong, I love them (most of the time), I'm just glad I don't live near them. I am too far for them to "drop in" for dinner. But close enough to fly down for the weekend. Which means, of course, that occasionally I have to subject myself to the "Fun Weekend with the Family", and if you haven't already guessed, it is never fun.

For instance, my husband and I had discussed going to visit the family for a weekend this March. Maybe we would get a room at the Hotel Del and have the family come to us. Or maybe a room near the beach so we can relax with an evening stroll along the boardwalk and essentially find a little time to enjoy ourselves while we are there. Uh, no.

Not only did multiple family members seem offended that we weren't going to stay with them, they all seem to think that they aren't being allotted enough time with us. Yeah, it's great to be loved.

My first priority is to see my Dad. It is not an option for us to stay with him, thanks to his Evil Wife (EW), since it is her house now (even though he had always said it was our home too) and she doesn't want "guests" - although her family is always staying with them. I'll be lucky to get to see him for dinner (with EW) and even luckier if he squeezes in time for a breakfast - EW-free. Even though he is my priority, getting quality time with him is difficult - like chaperoned custody sessions.

Then there is Sister #1. She is fun! We go out, we dance, whatever we want to do. I'd be fine just spending my weekend with her (as long as I get a meal with Dad - which we can usually combine with Sister #1).

But, there's also Sister #2, who is too young to drive. Therefore, I can't see her without seeing my Aunt and Uncle and their family.

My Aunt and Uncle and their family... Even as a kid, their home was a black hole of time. You could make plans to be there for 2 hours on a Friday evening, and they'd manage to suck you in to staying (they have many tools, primarily guilt) until Sunday night. They were the most upset that we wouldn't be staying with them. Hello. They live in a 1200sq ft 3bed/1bath home with 4 adults already. Not a lot of room for 2.5 more (this is including me, hubby and Sister #2).

If we arrange for a weekend with one of any of the above, it is usually fairly manageable and we generally have a good time. BUT trying to squeeze all of them into one weekend, immediately we see that there isn't any time for hubby and me to enjoy ourselves. It looks like it is going to be another Fun Weekend with the Family.... maybe there's a reason I haven't booked it yet. Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something...

Baby Me at Work

So, big announcement, wahoo. I'm pregnant. Now that we've managed that, I have to manage announcing it at work. This is not going to be as easy as I thought.

First of all, there are a ton of articles and chat threads about *when* to announce at work. The only thing they all have in common, that I have done and am *very* glad I was able to do, is: tell your boss! I was trying to keep it under wraps very early on, but I was adding undue stress to me and the baby over the smallest of things: "Has my boss noticed that I've stopped drinking Diet Coke?" "Did she notice that I left that meeting twice to pee?" "Did she see the pillow mark on my face after I took my 'lunch' in my car?"

I didn't actually have much of a choice when it finally came to telling my boss; one day I had a minor emergency and the doctor wanted to see me immediately, so I had to explain why I'd had a lot of appointments and now I was running off to this unexpected one. More than anything, I think her feelings were a little hurt that I hadn't told her sooner. Who knew?

Once I did tell her though, not only did she have the typical experiential advice to offer, but she also had some insight into sharing the news at work on a broader scope. Get this. Do you remember Sue, our incompetent HR colleague? Turns out that I can't let her know about my delicate condition until *after* our annual reviews (and compensation increases) are final, otherwise it's likely my increase will be decreased due to decreased expectation for work performance in the upcoming year. I know what you're thinking - that's illegal! But I don't have any real evidence, other than that's what happened to my boss three years ago. But Sue gets around (no pun intended), so I am having a great time "hiding" my thickening waist - which is getting harder to do as I've added about 6 pounds and 3 inches right up front! God forbid someone else catches on and mentions to her that I might have a bun in the oven. I wouldn't put it past Sue to approach me, confidentially, before reviews are final to confirm.

Then, there's also the fact that I'd rather not deal with people treating me like I'm "pregnant" at work. For example, after forgetting to attach a document to an email I sent her (even though I'm notorious for this), my boss says to me, "It's only going to get worse!" Referring to the interesting phenomenon where late in the second trimester a woman's short term memory short circuits and they get "forgetful." Hello! No! My work is not yet effected by this issue, unless you count actual time "worked" because you'd have to deduct a fair amount of time for multiple bathroom breaks. I'm not looking forward to having a strong opinion in a meeting and having people attribute it to me being "hormonal." Arguing with co-workers only to have them suggest I should "take a break." When I'm at work, I'm at work.

Please don't baby me at work. If I can't take it anymore, I'll stay home.

I'm also not looking forward to the jokes I've heard about other pregnant women at work (4 gave birth in the last six months, one upstairs is due in April) being made at my expense. On Wednesdays the company orders in lunch for everyone. God forbid a pregnant woman should be one of the first in line! I can't remember how many times I've heard, "There's so and so in the front - I'm not surprised!" Hello! Even pregnant women get hungry! The more amazing fact is that someone whose body is completely out of control, balance left by the roadside in the first trimester, and with swollen feet managed to beat *you* to the lunch room!

I guess I don't have to think about when to spill the beans at work much longer. Reviews are final on the 20th - if my body hasn't given me away by then...

Obligatory Workday Parties

Birthdays, Baby Showers, Wedding Showers, Going Away parties. I think it's great that the people you work with, the ones you spend 8+ hours a day, 40+ hours a week, 2000+ hours a year interacting with, wish to acknowledge these events in your life. Really, it's great. But when you work with a *lot* of people (okay, in my case about 160) that's almost once a week you are being asked to "contribute" for some "surprise" party. Even if you just contribute a measly five dollars for each of these, your likely to shell out about $250 a year! ($5 * 49 weeks [52 - 2 for vacation and 1 for the holidays])

I can hear the peanut gallery getting all excited... yes, you sometimes get cake out of the deal, but I'm not a cake person.

I've had coworkers tell me how disappointed they've been to contribute $20 to someone's party that they really liked, only to not get a chance to sign the "group card" (that included non-donaters names) that came with the gifts! Then there is the baby shower I went to two weeks ago, where I told the organizer I had put money in an envelope in their mailbox to contribute to the gifts. This week, the organizer dropped by with my money - she had forgotten to get it out of her mailbox! I guess I should just be grateful that she returned the money instead of pocketing it for "future contributions"...

And don't even get me started on the people who never contribute but sign the card and eat the cake anyway...

I don't want to sound ungrateful for the 30th birthday lunch or the belated wedding shower. They were fun, but I got the feeling at both that they were more for the people at the parties... as if they needed an excuse to step away from their desks and eat cake during their workday. I don't suppose any of this stems from the disappointment that nobody threw a surprise office party for my 31st birthday... or for my return from foot surgery... or that time when I repotted the plant on my desk because (contrary to all other plants I've ever owned) it's thriving!

So much to say until...

Why is it that I always have so much to say, until I actually take the time to try to say something? On that note, I will attempt to get my first blog published today (blog is Hungarian for ramble, right?).

My friend Sam has inspired me with his blog, Here's the Thing. It is a peek across the miles into his mind, and it never fails to make me laugh. I won't even dare to dream that
(a) what I write will be as intuitive or entertaining as Sam's
(b) anyone will actually read my blog
(c) that anyone will actually be affected by it

I mean if noone is reading it, it's pretty much impossible for (c) anyway.

In no way do I expect this to be a therapuetic outlet either. No Peyton's iPod cast soft of thing if that's what you were looking for. 10 points if you know the reference.

In essence, I am promising absolutely nothing with this blog, and expecting absolutely nothing. OK?

Also, what is it with blogs the size of small novels? Is this normal? Is it what the average blog browser expects to read? I don't know that
(a) I care that much about anything to invest that kind of time
(b) that my opinion on any given topic deserves that much space
(c) anyone would really want to read that much of something I've written

Let's face it, I'm a boring person and I love it! Routine is the essence of me and Diet Coke is the essence of life!

So, what should you expect if you happen to be reading this and you happen to come back?
1. Obviously, lots of lists (okay, I'll try to steer clear but no promises)
2. Shortish blogs (the boring factor)
3. Lots of references to Sam's blogs - they crack me up!

There, done. Maybe now writing these things will get a little easier. Maybe Sam will show me how to post pictures. Maybe I'll win the lottery and quit my job so I can blog full-time. Then again, maybe not.