Baby Me at Work

So, big announcement, wahoo. I'm pregnant. Now that we've managed that, I have to manage announcing it at work. This is not going to be as easy as I thought.

First of all, there are a ton of articles and chat threads about *when* to announce at work. The only thing they all have in common, that I have done and am *very* glad I was able to do, is: tell your boss! I was trying to keep it under wraps very early on, but I was adding undue stress to me and the baby over the smallest of things: "Has my boss noticed that I've stopped drinking Diet Coke?" "Did she notice that I left that meeting twice to pee?" "Did she see the pillow mark on my face after I took my 'lunch' in my car?"

I didn't actually have much of a choice when it finally came to telling my boss; one day I had a minor emergency and the doctor wanted to see me immediately, so I had to explain why I'd had a lot of appointments and now I was running off to this unexpected one. More than anything, I think her feelings were a little hurt that I hadn't told her sooner. Who knew?

Once I did tell her though, not only did she have the typical experiential advice to offer, but she also had some insight into sharing the news at work on a broader scope. Get this. Do you remember Sue, our incompetent HR colleague? Turns out that I can't let her know about my delicate condition until *after* our annual reviews (and compensation increases) are final, otherwise it's likely my increase will be decreased due to decreased expectation for work performance in the upcoming year. I know what you're thinking - that's illegal! But I don't have any real evidence, other than that's what happened to my boss three years ago. But Sue gets around (no pun intended), so I am having a great time "hiding" my thickening waist - which is getting harder to do as I've added about 6 pounds and 3 inches right up front! God forbid someone else catches on and mentions to her that I might have a bun in the oven. I wouldn't put it past Sue to approach me, confidentially, before reviews are final to confirm.

Then, there's also the fact that I'd rather not deal with people treating me like I'm "pregnant" at work. For example, after forgetting to attach a document to an email I sent her (even though I'm notorious for this), my boss says to me, "It's only going to get worse!" Referring to the interesting phenomenon where late in the second trimester a woman's short term memory short circuits and they get "forgetful." Hello! No! My work is not yet effected by this issue, unless you count actual time "worked" because you'd have to deduct a fair amount of time for multiple bathroom breaks. I'm not looking forward to having a strong opinion in a meeting and having people attribute it to me being "hormonal." Arguing with co-workers only to have them suggest I should "take a break." When I'm at work, I'm at work.

Please don't baby me at work. If I can't take it anymore, I'll stay home.

I'm also not looking forward to the jokes I've heard about other pregnant women at work (4 gave birth in the last six months, one upstairs is due in April) being made at my expense. On Wednesdays the company orders in lunch for everyone. God forbid a pregnant woman should be one of the first in line! I can't remember how many times I've heard, "There's so and so in the front - I'm not surprised!" Hello! Even pregnant women get hungry! The more amazing fact is that someone whose body is completely out of control, balance left by the roadside in the first trimester, and with swollen feet managed to beat *you* to the lunch room!

I guess I don't have to think about when to spill the beans at work much longer. Reviews are final on the 20th - if my body hasn't given me away by then...