One of Them

Yes, I am now officially, One of Them. I am an official member of the Parents Club.

Before, One of Them would tell me how exhausting a newborn is. How you don't sleep, shower, brush your teeth... How the first three months are the most difficult because not only are you trying to keep your new child alive, but you are also negotiating your new roles as parents (and for those of us lucky enough to not be doing it alone) divvying up fun new responsibilities like: washing the bottles, washing the baby's laundry, washing the baby... I heard Them tell me this. I believed that I understood what they were saying, it was in English after all. But, having recently survived the first three months with my baby, I still have to say that no one really communicated just how *difficult* it is! I get it now.

Before, One of them would tell me how they could stare at their newborn for hours on end. How the love they felt for their baby was something so unique and overwhelming. How they found themselves completely and totally fascinated by the (on average) 8 pounds of person in front of them. I heard Them tell me this. I believed that I understood what they were saying, it was in English after all. But, imagine my surprise when watching my baby's facial expressions *while sleeping* I realized that I could be happy just like that for hours on end. How the first time she stared at my hand because it was back lit by the window, I wiggled my fingers for her for hours while she gazed on... Except that my arm started cramping, I found I had no emotional reason to stop - me watching her watch my hand was indeed fascinating! I get it now.

Before, One of Them would tell me that no matter how difficult this huge transition is (new baby, no sleep, no more time for the gym or other non-essential activities... heck, eating dinner at the same time as my husband is a miracle these days), when your baby starts smiling or even better, laughing, it is *ALL* worth it. I heard Them tell me this. I believed that I understood what they were saying, it was in English after all. I clung to the idea that I would feel this way (I mean, hello, They had already warned me that it was going to be tough), and you know what? It is so much more than just worth it! The smiles, and the laughing (still new at this point), must pass some airborne chemical/hormone because not only is it all worth it, but it is better than I could have imagined! So much so that I tend to forget all the hard work that got us to this point. There is so much joy and pride and love and so *much* when your baby smiles up at you... I get it now!

Before, One of Them would ramble on and on about their kid(s). Sharing pictures and anecdotes and sucking you into a time vortex where you would be left wondering, How do I excuse myself from this conversation without appearing to be an insensitive b*stard? I swore I wouldn't be one of those people who couldn't understand that your life doesn't revolve around their kid(s). But now, I realize They were just trying to brighten my day with a few stories or pictures of Their greatest joy. That what I thought was rambling is really a selfless individual doing what They can for their fellow man by attempting to ignite joy and excitement in others! Or, at least that is what I tell myself every time I corner a friend or colleague and subject them to pictures and anecdotes... I get it now.

I have become Them.